Ben: You look like my art teacher.
Me: I am your art teacher.
Ben: No. My other one.
Me: Where?
Ben: At Appleby College.
Me: Who is it?
Ben: Victoria.
Me: Oh. I don’t know her. How do I look like her?
Ben: Your face. And she has a bun.
……
Mom: I saw your twin. On the other side of the street. She was by the Loblaws and she had her hair up, like you. Glasses. Same grey sweater like you wear. About ten years younger. Slight. She looked just like you. I thought, that’s Elizabeth’s twin.
Me: When was this?
Mom. It was this morning. I was going to Loblaws. On Martin Grove Road. She looked ten or fifteen years younger. She had blue glasses, I could see that. She looked just like you. Looked like a younger you. What a resemblance. There’s my daughter!
Me: I wonder who she was.
Mom: Next time I’ll stop and ask her.
……
Arlene: Doesn’t she look just like Isabelle? In the face?
Everyone: Nooooooooo.
Arlene: Do you know who Isabelle is?
Stephanie: Yes, I’ve known her since she was a teenager. She doesn’t look like her.
Arlene: It’s her eyes.
Lindsay: It’s because she has dark hair.
Arlene: No one thinks she looks like Isabelle?
Me: You’re the only one who’s looking really closely at me, Arlene!
Stephanie: It’s not her personality.
Lindsay: Arlene always says people look like other people.
……
Mary: This is funny. I saw you, from the back, your hair is always up. My daughter, too. She wears her hair like yours. And I saw you walking one day with your hair just like that and me, her own mother, I thought you were my daughter. You look the same. Twins!
……
John: We saw you last week in Sydney. You have an identical twin in Australia!
Eve: We were trying to figure out why you looked so familiar!
John: Yeah we saw her in the airport, one of the staff there. She was very friendly and helpful.
Eve: Have you ever been to Australia?
John: Yeah were you there working at the airport last week?
Me: Nope, definitely wasn’t me! But I do get told I have doppelgängers all the time.
John: And now you’ve got one in Australia, too.
……
Jasmine: You look like my mommy.
Me: I look like her?
Jasmine: Yeah. Her hair is black but it’s not long. It’s always short. And it’s curly.
Me: So how do I look like her?
Jasmine: Your hair is curly too!
……
Lucy: You know Matilda?
Me: Yeah!
Lucy: Well you look like someone. You look like the teacher.
Me: Who?
Lucy: Trunchbull.
Me: You think I look like Trunchbull?!?! How so?
Lucy: Like your face and your b----
Me: My face and my body look like Trunchbull??
Lucy: Nooooo! Your face and your bun!
Me: Wow that is really harsh.
Lucy: But you have a nice personality!
...........
Emily: You look like a girl I know.
Me: I look like someone you know?
Emily: Yes.
Me: What's her name?
Emily: Melody. Or Melanie.
Me: How do you know her?
Emily: She's the head girl.
Me: Is she nice?
Emily: I guess so. I don't really know her that much.
Me: So wait, what's her name? Melody or Melanie?
Emily: I don't know. There's a melon in there somewhere.
...........
R: So there was a lady at the train station today that I thought was sort of attractive. And then I realized it was because she reminded me of you.
Me: How so?
R: Well, she had brown hair and brown eyes.
Me: That's it?
R: She also was wearing this dress shirt, and a sweater over it. And the dress shirt was sticking out at the bottom.
Me: What do you mean? Why was it sticking out?
R: Because her sweater was a little too small, the way you like to wear them. And she had freckles.
...........
Rachel: You are very similar to someone I know.
Me: Oh yeah?
Rachel: You even kind of sound the same.
Me: Do I look like her?
Rachel: Yes.
Me: Who is it?
Rachel: My cousin. She lives in England.
Me: Cool.
Rachel: Actually, her middle name is Elizabeth, and mine is too!
...........
Girl: I saw you outside today.
Me: You did? Where?
Girl (pointing to lake): Over there!
Me: That wasn't me.
Girl: Yes it was! I saw you.
Me: I definitely wasn't over there, it's freezing out. It must have been someone who looked like me.
Girl: Maybe.
...........
Parent: Do we know each other? You look so familiar.
Me: I don't think we've met before, no.
Parent: Where did you go to school?
Me: York Memorial in Toronto...and I went to U of T for art history?
Parent (disappointed/frustrated): No, that's not it.
Me: Sorry! I get told I look familiar a lot.
.....
Server: Hi, welcome back! I don't think I've served you, but I've definitely seen you here before.
Me: Oh, nope! You must be thinking of my magical identical twin. I've never been here before.
.....
Cashier: The name is? Sarah?
Me (eager, thinking she remembers me from yesterday): Elizabeth! Close!
Cashier: Oh. There's someone that comes in, that literally looks exactly like you. Her name is Sarah.
.....
Shea: Have we met before? Did you ever work in Hamilton?
.....
R: She's a really nice lady, she just hasn't figured out how to turn off that "I care" switch.
Me: Like me?
R: Yeah, like you! Actually, she looks like you too. Her name's Melanie.
.....
R: There was a relatively sexy woman on the train today, she looked like she could be your sister. You looked very similar. But your ring is nicer than hers.
.....
Girl: You look like our friend, Miss Kaminga. She's a teacher. She's really nice. You sound like her too. She lives in Georgetown.
.....
Shani: I've been making a conscious effort not to call you Emily, so I have to apologize if I do call you that. You just remind me so much of my friend.
.....
Mom: Elizabeth, when did you go swimming in the ocean?
Me: I didn't, why?
Mom: I found a picture of you swimming. Who took it?
Me: What picture? Where did you see it?
Mom: I was googling you and this picture came up of you in the ocean. I'll show you.
Me: Oh no, that's not me, Mom. I don't know who that is.
Mom: That's not you? Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I think I would know! Sorry.
.....
Security guard: You look like a friend of mine.
Me: Who is your friend?
Security guard: From Mexico, Andrea.
.....
K: Hey Alex Mack.
Me: What? That's not my name.
M: Yeah right, Alex Mack.
Me: What are you guys talking about?
K: You look just like the actress that plays Alex Mack, you know that show? The Secret Life of Alex Mack?
Me: I totally do not!
.....
Kid: You look so much like this actress, I forget her name..
Me: Julia Roberts maybe?
Kid: No way, no not her, someone else...
Me: Claire Danes?
Kid: What? You're not blond.
Me: But I smile just like her!
Kid: No that's not her at all...oh! I remember! You look like Geena Davis!
Me: Ohh. No I don't.
Kid: Yeah! Exactly like her. You have the same dimple and everything.
.....
Approximations, 1994-ongoing
In this piece, I try to remember what people have said when they’ve told me about someone they know, saw or met that is my look-alike. These lines serve as the script for a performance in which I re-enact roughly how these conversations happened.